What I’m up to right now (aka, why I’m crying)

I’ve got a few things on the go, all of which have contributed to me crying my wee heart out.

I’m watching the subtitled English Italian documentary Women Bodies.

I read a news article on a speech by our Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, in which he states: “We also have no history of colonialism.” And shows he doesn’t give a shit about the “apology” for the Canadian government’s role in residential schools for indigenous children that he made a couple years ago. Also, did you know that Canada, Amerika, and New Zealand are the only nations who oppose the UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples? (Australia changed recently, issuing a statement of support; previously, they had voted against.)

I’m catching up on Julian Real’s blog, reading over September entries mostly, including entries on the late Andrea Dworkin, Robert Jensen calling on us to abandon masculinity as desirable or fixable, incestuous abuse by “Papa John” of his daughter (and Julian’s abuse at the hands of an adult when he was a preteen) and white hetero male privilege.

Julian’s blog is leading me to other blogs, such as A Lady Divine.

I’m also on a Blue October kick, listening to songs such as Razorblade (about a boy sexually abused by a priest and self harm. this live version adds a verse where he kills him when he grows up), Libby, I’m Listening (lovely love song, being there for someone in an abusive situation, fucked up individuals and all), Come In Closer (the lyrics evoke beautiful imagery, and it’s really compelling soundwise), Jump Rope (a song Justin wrote for his daughter when she asked why all his songs were sad),  HRSA (stands for high risk of self abuse, about institutionalization), 2 AM Lovesick (not sure what it’s about, but love it), Chameleon Boy (opening oneself up to help, being vulnerable, dealing with addiction), Angel (wanting to help a rape survivor, not giving up), His Name Is Crazy (awesome musically) and Weight of the World (recovery). Oh, I love them, and could link songs to queendom come, but made myself stop 😛 And for good measure, here is Justin talking about Sexual Power-trip and Razorblade

Apologies for rarely updating lately. Things have been hectic, and my dad recently became seriously ill and passed away. But I have “abnormal” attitudes toward death, so have been handling it ok (in comparison to how people tend to deal with death, anyway).

Lyrics to the songs listed above, found here

Except, His Name is Crazy (aka Crazy Man):

I could talk for hours
About nothing in particular
Ranting uselessly, profusely
Get charmed or charming
This big-eyed evening
Left me numb for the next few days
I can still smell the chemical
Nosing it’s way up to my lap
Like a playground heart attack
Chemi-chemi-chemical reaction
Chemi-chemi-chemical reaction


Call me a crazy man
Call me a crazy man
Call me a crazy man

Indiscreet, and me a fight
It’s dark oustide
Pulse, veins, blood, trains
Breathing really burns
Life, spleen, drugs, scream
That’s really how it works
I break grounds and I go underground
So dig up all your dirt

Call me a crazy man
Call me a crazy man
Call me a crazy man
Call me a crazy man

Island shutters
Ballet and tap stutters
I’ll sleep to that dream
Ice cream, we all scream
I really need a nice drink
Island shutters
Ballet and tap stutters
I’ll sleep to that dream
Black near colors
We both will leave
Kiss the sunshine, orange sheet
So best my man
Bless it and go to bed
And wake up sober and sweet
Che-chemi-chemi-chemical reaction
Chemi-chemi-chemical reaction



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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. hey quick comment, it’s A Lady Divine, with an I not an e, lol. Glad to see you’re reading my blog. Thanks and Welcome!

    So sorry to hear about your dad. I hope you’re taking care of yourself.

  2. sorry, ladydivine! i’ll fix that.

    sorry to see you’ve left the blogosphere. 😦

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