What I’m up to right now (aka, why I’m crying)

I’ve got a few things on the go, all of which have contributed to me crying my wee heart out.

I’m watching the subtitled English Italian documentary Women Bodies.

I read a news article on a speech by our Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, in which he states: “We also have no history of colonialism.” And shows he doesn’t give a shit about the “apology” for the Canadian government’s role in residential schools for indigenous children that he made a couple years ago. Also, did you know that Canada, Amerika, and New Zealand are the only nations who oppose the UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples? (Australia changed recently, issuing a statement of support; previously, they had voted against.)

I’m catching up on Julian Real’s blog, reading over September entries mostly, including entries on the late Andrea Dworkin, Robert Jensen calling on us to abandon masculinity as desirable or fixable, incestuous abuse by “Papa John” of his daughter (and Julian’s abuse at the hands of an adult when he was a preteen) and white hetero male privilege.

Julian’s blog is leading me to other blogs, such as A Lady Divine.

I’m also on a Blue October kick, listening to songs such as Razorblade (about a boy sexually abused by a priest and self harm. this live version adds a verse where he kills him when he grows up), Libby, I’m Listening (lovely love song, being there for someone in an abusive situation, fucked up individuals and all), Come In Closer (the lyrics evoke beautiful imagery, and it’s really compelling soundwise), Jump Rope (a song Justin wrote for his daughter when she asked why all his songs were sad),  HRSA (stands for high risk of self abuse, about institutionalization), 2 AM Lovesick (not sure what it’s about, but love it), Chameleon Boy (opening oneself up to help, being vulnerable, dealing with addiction), Angel (wanting to help a rape survivor, not giving up), His Name Is Crazy (awesome musically) and Weight of the World (recovery). Oh, I love them, and could link songs to queendom come, but made myself stop And for good measure, here is Justin talking about Sexual Power-trip and Razorblade

Apologies for rarely updating lately. Things have been hectic, and my dad recently became seriously ill and passed away. But I have “abnormal” attitudes toward death, so have been handling it ok (in comparison to how people tend to deal with death, anyway).

Lyrics to the songs listed above, found here

Except, His Name is Crazy (aka Crazy Man):

			I could talk for hours About nothing in particular Ranting uselessly, profusely Get charmed or charming This big-eyed evening Left me numb for the next few days I can still smell the chemical Nosing it’s way up to my lap Like a playground heart attack Chemi-chemi-chemical reaction Chemi-chemi-chemical reaction Chemi-chemi-chemi-chemi-chemi-chemi   Chorus: Call me a crazy man Call me a crazy man Call me a crazy man Indiscreet, and me a fight It’s dark oustide Pulse, veins, blood, trains Breathing really burns Life, spleen, drugs, scream That’s really how it works I break grounds and I go underground So dig up all your dirt Chorus: Call me a crazy man Call me a crazy man Call me a crazy man Call me a crazy man Island shutters Ballet and tap stutters I’ll sleep to that dream Ice cream, we all scream I really need a nice drink Island shutters Ballet and tap stutters I’ll sleep to that dream Black near colors We both will leave Kiss the sunshine, orange sheet So best my man Bless it and go to bed And wake up sober and sweet Che-chemi-chemi-chemical reaction Chemi-chemi-chemical reaction Chemi-chemi-chemi-chemi-chemi-chemi Chorus